The Door Counseling Center specializes in counseling from the Christian perspective. We do not limit ourselves to particular client groups, such as marital counseling, adolescents, etc., but seek to provide counseling to any clients who want to deepen their relationship to God, which in our minds, is the main issue in the life of a Christian. In a sense, all problems that clients bring to counseling are the result of an imperfect connection to the love and healing power of God. However, some broad categories inevitably do develop in these situations, and some of the areas we feel especially able to help include:
The Door has helped many clients suffering from mood disorders such as anxiety and depression. If and when medication is deemed necessary, The Door works with your personal physician or a Christian Psychiatrist nearby to help clients get the pharmacological help they need. In addition, and even more importantly, we feel that in most cases, cognitive-behavioral therapy is just as important as medication, to help learn new, effective patterns of thinking and acting. Results are often dramatic, especially when clients can bring their faith in God into therapy and learn to trust and rely on God's healing power. Parents of depressed teens may be interested in our page about teen suicide on the Parenting page. Women may be interested in the page on Premenstrual Syndrome (PMS).
Miss Szlek has been trained in Christian PREP, the PRepare/Enrich Program, which is considered one of the most effective marital counseling programs. In addition, she is a trained PREP administrator, and she does pre-marital and marital counseling, both individually and in group settings. Her approach is to look at the patterns of communication, relationship blockages, issues of past abuse, etc., which may be currently impacting the marriage relationship. Again, the approach is that as the partners individually improve their relationship with God, the fruit of the Spirit will begin to heal their marriage bond. The approach puts much stress on understanding the historic-Biblical definition of marriage, with the man as the head of the wife, bound to love her as he loves his own body, and the woman as the body, respectful to the head, and equally important within the marriage. Mutual submission is stressed, and development of communication skills is emphasized in skills training.
The Door recognizes that many clients come to counseling with a background of abuse, whether physical, emotional, verbal or sexual. In addition, clients may be suffering from addictions of some kind, whether of using substances, or addiction to activities such as Internet usage, shopping, sexual activities, pornography, gambling, etc. Usually the experiences of abuse lead to distorted beliefs, which block the relationship to God and to others. Addictions are viewed as attempts to lessen the pain one feels in meeting the many challenges of life. Very often, these two issues are intertwined. It is our view that self-knowledge is the key to many of these issues, and especially deep and true knowledge of God's love for us. Cognitive-behavioral therapy and screening for mood disorders are the main routes to helping those suffering from abuse and addictions. When we realize God's love for us, we come to a better understanding of who we really are, and what the purpose of our life really is. Correction of false or toxic beliefs frees us to become ourselves, and frees us from bondage to our past, or to present sinful behavior.
At the Door we do much work with parenting and problems with children and adolescents. We feel that our society has little respect for the true job of parenting, and that many parents begin this task without the fundamental "parental union" which provides the structure children need to thrive and grow into adults. We work on bringing about this union, re-arranging parenting tasks to bring proper balance of roles, and especially, to help parents respect the Christ image in their children. Deepening the bonds of love, bringing children to proper obedience for parents, and in all ways making all family members answerable to the law of love is the primary task. We also help parents learn to listen to their children, and to teach them to learn to work in the home as preparation for adulthood. We work with children who indeed have an Attention Deficit Disorder: it is a deficit of the attention of their parents! Discipline is important, but it must spring from love, and mostly, must be modeled by the parent through their own display of self-control, gentleness, kindness and humility.
Many clients come to The Door ostensibly for the purpose of "managing" their anger. It is the opinion of our staff that anger is a God-given emotion, not sinful in itself. However, many ways people have of expressing their anger are definitely sinful. At The Door we look at one's family of origin, anger styles, and try to find the erroneous beliefs which are fueling our anger problems. We take the holistic perspective that anger, if uncontrolled and prolonged, is a serious threat to our physiological, emotional, psychological and especially spiritual health. We do not, therefore, seek to teach anger management, which is often a band-aid approach. We seek to eliminate all but transient anger, and then, to teach clients to handle that anger quickly and effectively, in a Christian manner.
In fact, few clients ever make appointments in order to deal with communication problems. However, this is probably the area where we spend the most time. Those with mood disorders, those with addictions, the abused, feuding couples, parents and children, angry people: Most of these are not effectively communicating. Therefore, teaching the principles of good communication, as impacted by Christian virtues of humility, kindness and self-control, is something which comes up in most counseling relationships. One area in which The Door is especially strong is in teaching the principles of Christian assertiveness. Groups workshops are often available for those who are interested in improving their overall communication skills.
Divorce is a problem for Christians to the same degree as it is for non-Christians. At The Door, clients are never counseled to seek divorce, as this is not an action pleasing to God. However, many married people find themselves in the position of having to deal with the desire for divorce in their spouse. Divorce presents many painful situations for both spouses and their children and families. At The Door, we work with families and couples to help them deal with the emotions divorce inevitably produces. First, we try to help couples contemplating divorce to reconsider and reconcile. However, if this fails, we help to teach divorcing or divorced couples to communicate respectfully and effectively, we deal with problems relating to custody issues and other stressful circumstances. While abhorring divorce, we realize it is a choice many Christians will make, whether or not they have sound Biblical grounds for doing so. Thus, we help clients to deal with all of the painful circumstances radiating out from this event, and to bring about healing and forgiveness.
Our Director has been trained in dealing with issues of spiritual abuse. This topic is sometimes little understood by the lay Christian, and it is concerned with the emotional, psychological and spiritual manipulation by Christian leaders. Those is positions of leadership often misuse their power for their own ends. Sometimes, they create what could be called Christian "cults", and other times they do their damage on a more personal and less institutionalized manner. In either case, the abuse church member is often left feeling isolated, abandoned, cut off from God, angry and unable to trust. Recovery from these kinds of abuses is often slow and painful, but it can be accomplished when the counselor understands the methods and tactics of these abusers, and can bring the client to look at his or her experience in the light of real Christian behavior.
All Christians must deal with the death of loved ones, and no one can argue that this is a painful experience. There is a general process that all persons go through following the loss of a loved one. However, it sometimes is helpful to have a counselor there to guide and encourage this sometimes long journey to healing and renewal. Often, people get "stuck" along the way, and are unable to proceed to the later stages of this process, and at this point they may seek the aid of a counselor. By strengthening our relationship with God, we can often grow and mature through these grief experiences, becoming better Christians than ever before. At The Door, we like to help with this journey to healing by encouraging, teaching new skills to deal with new challenges the death of a loved one may present, and we work to help the bereaved to find satisfying new emotional outlets for their Christian love.
Coaching is a relatively new area of concern for counselors, and it consists of serving as a mentor, or coach for someone who is in need of another person's input for various life situations. Coaching is as varied in parameters as the person being coached. Some people request help in re-organizing business relationships, others need help in being more effective in a certain part of their lives. Coaching is not therapy, but is delivered on an as-needed basis to those who simply need an outsider's clear analysis of a current situation. Coaching, unlike counseling, can even be conducted over the telephone. Most prized attributes of a coach are skills of logic and analysis, psychological reading of others, intuition, broad based life knowledge , good communication, the ability to "think out of the box", creativity in the face of problems, discernment and wisdom, and the ability to "unstick" those who are "stuck". Coaching is a field which will be more and more a part of business and personal lives in the future. Ms. Szlek serves as a coach to a number of business and spiritual leaders.